We just spent 2 1/2 weeks in Maine visiting family and vacationing. What a great time! Even though we are on vacation, we still stick to routines and procedures we use for discipline. There is no sense in abandoning these even on vacation. Sure we might be a bit flexible but not much. Baby A is still in the learning stages at 2 and 5 months so there is no sense in confusing her with mixed messages. This brings me to choices. We follow Love and Logic and one aspect of Love and Logic is choices. This philosophy talks about how empowering it is for a child when they get to make choices. They can be simple choices such as, Which hat would you like to wear? Or would you like to wear a dress or shorts? We provide as many choices as we can for Baby A so that when they time comes and we have to make the choice we have some leverage. "You get to make lots of choices. Mommy needs to make this choice." However I have figured out that even when I or Dad have to make the choice, still sticking in a way for Baby A to make a choice eliminates a power struggle, fight, frustration, and a tantrum. Here is an example.
One day Baby A was swimming in Grammy's pool. It was 12 which is time for lunch and relaxing b/c 1pm is nap time. So I looked at her and said, "It is time to get out of the pool so we can have lunch." Of course her response is, "No!" Wouldn't you have the same response? The pool is a blast! So I started with choice #1. "We can get out now or in 5 min." She says, "5 min." I always leave a buffer of a few minutes when it is time to do something else b/c I know I will have to give her some sort of choice with a time limit. Plus, this gives her a warning that our time is up and we have to do something else. So we play again. When 5 minutes is up I say, "5 min. is up it is time to get out." Often she follows this without any hesitation. Not this day. Again she said, "No!" So I quickly had to think of how to incorporate a choice here. I wanted to avoid tantrums and I knew just picking her up and taking her out of the pool would have caused some issues, resulting into a tantrum. Then it came to me. "You can climb up the ladder by yourself or I can lift you out." (choice #2) I realized this is it! She loves to do things by herself so if she gets an opportunity to choose how she will get out of the pool, this will make her happy. So she climbed right out without any hesitation, we dried off, and went in the house to have lunch. Can it be that simple? Sure it can. Even though I had to make the choice of getting out of the pool b/c the 5 min. was up, I still gave her a choice on how she wanted to get out of the pool. That eliminated all chances of tantrums.
So now we incorporate that as much as possible. I have also used this one, "You can walk to your room or I can carry you." She says, "walk" and off she goes. No tantrum. It is that simple! So who says age 2 is the "terrible twos"? I haven't seen that yet and don't think I will!
