Who Are The Parents?

I have had two recent experiences lately that have made me wonder, why don't parents act like the parents?

In August, I was flying home from Maine and across the isle from me was a mom, dad, and a toddler. As we were getting ready to take off the mom was trying to get her toddler into a seat belt. Every time she tried he would scream. Finally the flight attendant came around and the mom asked her to tell her son he had to put on his seat belt. I was puzzled and wondering why the parent had to resort to this. Isn't she the parent? I truly believe the child understands what is going on. When a parent fails to show his/her parental skills (for lack of a better word)...the child will know and will take advantage of this.

Today, a similar situation happened. We were at the library for story time and a little boy wouldn't stay in his seat. He would walk around to all the other kids. The mother asked the librarian to tell him to sit down. Now she did a great job and got the toddler to sit down for a while, but why was it her responsibility? I don't understand.

As parents we have a job. Our job is to love our children, raise them in a loving and caring environment, teach them right from wrong, raise them with great values, provide a home for them, teach them about respecting others and treating everyone with kindness,(plus many more jobs) and most importantly...be their parents. Our children shouldn't be in charge and neither should another adult. When I told my husband this story he was flabbergasted as well. We were both raised to behave in public and be respectful to everyone around us. We don't expect anything less from our daughter. If I was the parent in the plane...I would have said to my daughter, "You can sit down and put your seat belt on, or I will sit you down and put the seat belt on." I can guarantee she would sit down on her own and fasten her seat belt. (this is in reference to a previous post about providing choices.) If I was the parent at story time...again I would have given her a choice, "You can come and sit down on the chair, or I will come and carry you to the chair." If that didn't work and she was being that distracting to the other kids, I would have said, "You can come and sit down and listen to the story or we will leave and go home." And yes, I would take her home if I had to.

I understand some things are easier said then done, but again we have responsibilities as parents even if that means we have to follow through on something we don't want to.

What to do when you forget the Lovey at School

It's been a couple of weeks, but we are all back from vacation and back to our normal work schedule. Baby A adjusted very well! We did have a "first time" situation last Thursday night. I always knew at some point this would probably happen, hoping not...but it did. Baby A goes to daycare 2 days a week. She has two lovies she sleeps with. These are the lovies that have an animal head and then turn into a little blanket. She always slept with Doggy and Giraffe was the one she carried around each day. Now, she needs to have Giraffe with her in bed as well. Giraffe is the mobile lovey. He comes everywhere with us. We have only lost him once, at a farmer's market where he fell out of the stroller. Baby A was a few months older then 1 year. I remember putting Baby A in the car as we were leaving the farmer's market and noticing Giraffe was missing. I walked, well actually ran back through the farmer's market hoping I'd find it but I didn't. She didn't seem to notice and we didn't say anything. When we got home I hopped on the computer and ordered another one with express delivery. I should have ordered 2.

So back to last Thursday. Giraffe accompanies Baby A to Daycare two days a week for nap time. We walk into school in the morning and put Giraffe in her cubby, he is ready for her at nap, and we take him home when Baby A is picked up. Sometimes, Giraffe is wrapped up in her blanket and you don't see him. Dad picked Baby A up from school on this particular day. She got home, we played, ate dinner, and as we were ready to go up stairs to get ready for bed, I said, "Let's get Giraffe." Then I saw Dad's face. He looked a little startled and white. He whispered, "I don't think I got Giraffe. I don't remember seeing it." We looked at each other and I thought, oh no, this could be bad. So as we were getting ready for bed; putting on pj's, reading books, brushing teeth I was wondering how I was going to handle this one. I knew I couldn't lie. I don't want to model that and I had to believe that I had to go with the truth and whatever happens, we would deal with it. As we were doing our routine, she never once asked for Giraffe so I wondered if she wouldn't even notice. I put her in her crib, got ready to sing her the songs we sing before bedtime and then she said, "I want my Giraffe." I kneeled down and I said, "Honey, I'm really sorry but we left Giraffe at school. We can get him tomorrow." Then the tears came and my heart broke. I had to do some quick thinking. How was I going to get her calmed down so she could sleep tonight????? She kept asking for Giraffe and I kept saying sorry. (notice it was me and not Dad-Hee Hee) I decided to recognize the "Posse" of other animals and dolls in her crib. I showed all the different dogs, bears, rabbits, dolls, etc. She was excited at first and then wanted her Giraffe. What could I try next....oh, I know...I looked at her and said, "Do you want to pick another special animal from your basket to sleep with tonight and in the morning we will get Giraffe." She smiled and said, "yes" I couldn't believe this might work. So we went through the animals and she found a soft, pink sheep. She picked him up and took him to bed with a huge smile on her face. I kissed and hugged her and sang her songs. Then I left. Success!!! I was so proud of her for being so strong and flexible. I wonder where she got that from????

As I look back I am grateful on how this situation was handled. I told her the truth about Giraffe and found an alternate lovey for the night!

The next morning we found Giraffe at school and Baby A was very happy. We will never forget to bring home Giraffe again...but we should have an extra on hand, just in case!