Time Outs

We are definitely in the stage of Time Out. We started it a while back when Baby A would hit me, not dad because she never hit him, just me. Well, yesterday...was a full blown time out day. We probably had 5 time outs within the first hour of our morning. So of course it makes me wonder...does it work? We follow the Love and Logic advice on time outs. When Baby A does something, in this case, we say "Bummer! Time Out for 1 minute." We sit her by the stairs facing the wall and don't pay attention to her for 1 min. Then when it is over we say, "Time out is over! I love you!" She usually says, "No Hit". It is suggested not to react much, but when it happens over and over again in a short amount of time, it is hard not to react. My doctor suggested that if she hits, be stern and say, "No Hitting! You need to go to Time Out." So I have tried both. It probably isn't good to be a bit inconsistent with the reaction. I like the bummer idea but wonder if she needs something a bit more stern so she knows it is wrong. On the other hand, I wonder if being more stern shows her she is getting a reaction out of me so she will do it again. Today she was with Dad for the morning. She only had two time outs. Yes, she is hitting him now too. I think she is getting really smart and testing more and more.

So as I sit and wonder if it works, I do believe it does, I just wonder if she is hitting more to see if we keep putting her in time out. If she thinks she will break us down...she is wrong. She will keep going to time out. I am predicting that eventually she will get bored of going to time out and it will subside a bit. I look forward to that day. In the mean time, I am going back to my Love and Logic Books and reading the chapter about 2 year olds and logical discipline. I am grateful for this book!

Camping and Sticking to Schedules-Does it Work?

Last week we went on our first camping trip of the season. Not only was it the first trip of the season but two of Baby A's friends were with us with their parents. Prior to this trip, Baby A was always the only little person there. This could be a different experience. Would we stick to the routines? Of course WE would but would she? I figured she would but you never know when there are other little people around. It could get challenging. Dad and Uncle went out early Friday to secure us a good camping spot. Baby A, me, Aunt, and Friend drove out together. We didn't leave our place until 5. I knew that getting there by Baby A's bedtime, 7:30, would be a challenge. She would want to run a round a bit. By the time we got there it was just after 7:30. Pretty much all camp was set up, but I had a few things to get done for her before she went to bed. We were flexible a bit on this night. We let her play with her friends for a bit. By the time she got to bed it was 8:30, an hour later. She did fine, fell asleep quickly, and slept all the way through the night. No she did not sleep longer, but she woke up and played for a bit before dad and I moved.

Next day was a fun filled day in the sun and wind. Nap time came. All the girls went down at the same time and believe me, she was ready. She was tired and is so used to napping at that time she doesn't even fuss. Now when we camp, dinner doesn't tend to be made early for the adults, but we tried. By the time we ate dinner it was 7:00 on Sat. night. 30 min. to eat and get to bed? Nearly impossible. When it was time, we made our rounds and she happily said her goodnights to everyone, including her friends. We got into the crib by 7:45 and she was out. 15 min. late, not so bad and no fuss from her.

We are so proud of her and how she handles her routines. Rarely do we have any fussing. She knows when it is her bedtime and she is ready for it!

How we handled two birthday parties in one day

A week ago from this past Saturday we had two birthday parties in one day. Before I had children I used to think, wow, 2 birthday parties in one day. That is a lot of stimulation for a young child. I don't remember going to two birthday parties in one day when I was a kid. I kind of assumed that when I had kids, we wouldn't do that. And then it happened. Baby A received an invitation about a month a go for a little girl's 3rd birthday at the gymnastic center. It started at 11:30. I figured that would work. We can be there for about an hour and a half and get back for nap on time or just a few minutes late. So I RSVP'd and a couple weeks later we were invited to a friend's daughter's 2nd birthday that same day at 4:30. Bonus for me...both parties were perfectly scheduled around Baby A's nap. Obviously not for us, but it was very convenient. At first I did consider unRSVPing to the first one but then figured, there is no point as it didn't interfere with her nap. Remember, you are reading from the parents who schedule their days around Baby A's schedule 100% of the time. My second concern, pizza and cake were being served at both parties. We eat very healthy in our house. Yes, we do have sweets every now and then and pizza, but definitely not in one day. So I thought this would be interesting to see how Baby A would handle the food.

Saturday came. We were off for party number 1. All the kids got to run and play in the gymnastic center for 1 hour. They were all very good. 12:30 came and so did lunch. I was eyeing the clock quite often wondering if the kids could eat pizza and cake in a 1/2 hour because we had to leave by 1. Baby A had 2 bites of pizza, a few bites of ice cream and cake and then stopped. Good girl, she stopped when she had enough. By 1 the party was actually over and most of the parents were scurrying out of their, I'm assuming to get their kids home for nap. We followed right behind. As I pulled out of the parking lot I saw Baby A's eyes drop closed rather quickly. She was out. I kept thinking, should I try to keep her up for the 10 min. ride or just let her sleep and get her right to bed. I let her sleep even though I knew she would probably wake up when I took her out of the car. But I had faith she would go back to sleep quickly for two reasons. One, she was very tired, and secondly, she naps at the same time EVERY SINGLE DAY so it is part of her routine! We parked, I took her out of the car seat, she woke up, we went straight to her bedroom, I skipped the milk, took off her shoes and coat, changed her diaper quickly, and had to remind her it was still nap time. I sang her the songs she likes to hear before bed, put her in the crib, and she was out! Thank you for consistency and routines.

Party number 2 was at 4:30, well after she woke up, we went, she didn't eat any pizza, ate a few bites of chicken fingers, and half a cupcake. At 7:00, you guessed it, we packed her up, drove the 10 min. home and put her to bed for her 7:30 bedtime.

We had a very successful first experience with 2 birthday parties in one day. We definitely can do it again, as long as the parties work around her schedule, otherwise, we will be skipping one.

Back to play time in the crib!

Just finished up a 3-week visit from Grandma who lives over 2,000 miles away. So Baby A had lots of excitement. Grandma was around almost daily, and Kita (the cousin doggy) who Baby A loves was around a lot. We still kept with the schedule...1pm nap time and 7:30 pm bedtime. Baby A was always ready for bed when it was time but her naps weren't always as long as she normally takes. Somedays were great naps, some were less than 2 hours. We always give her play time after nap and in the morning in the crib. Sometimes she plays up to an hour. These 3 weeks it was less play time than usual. Grandma who only gets to see Baby A twice a year wants to see her when she gets up. So we were a bit flexible. Honestly, for me...it was hard b/c we have Baby A in such a great routine. Down for nap at 1 and out of crib around 4 whether she sleeps until 4 or wakes up earlier and plays. So the week after Grandma leaves, isn't any different regarding routines but less excitement for Baby A. Her first couple naps, she slept so so. Not as long as normal. Her average nap is over 2 hours. One day, soon after Grandma left, she woke up she started crying. It was just before 3pm. This tells me she is still tired but wants to get up. Her crying increased so I went upstairs. As I peeked through the door, I saw her standing up in the middle of her crib, with the saddest face, crying, staring at the door. As soon as she saw me, she hit the deck, back to the mattress with her butt in the air. I went in, rubbed her back and softly said, "It isn't time to get up yet. I love you. I will be right downstairs." She whispered, "k" and as I walked out the door, she looked back and again I said, "I love you, I'll be right down stairs," closed the door and left. As I patiently waited by the monitor, I expected to hear crying again......waiting.......waiting......Success!!! No Crying!!! I was so excited! She is so comfortable with being in her crib and she is so familiar to the routines that I was able to walk out of her room without her crying. For the next hour she was in her crib. We are unsure if she fell asleep or not. It was quiet for a long time. We dare not peek in the door b/c if she saw us...that could be it. Eventually we heard her, playing and talking to her posse that she keeps in the crib. 4:00 came and it was time to get up.

Next Post: Our first experience with 2 Birthday Parties on one day!

Is the TV on in your house all day?

How much stimulation is too much stimulation? If you are a stay-at-home parent; What does your child do? Do you constantly have the tv on? What are the effects of having so much background noise? I am no expert on that question, but I am pretty happy with how my husband and I have decided to raise our child and what we have agreed on as far as noise during the day. We read a lot of books before our daughter was born and even just after she was born. We both weren't completely on the same page about the tv. My husband thought it was o.k. to have the tv on as "background" noise when he was home with her and she was really little. I disagreed. One day I found an article that talked about keeping the tv off until your child is at least 2. Why you ask? Well, the article stated things like...if you are the parent and you are watching it you may get focused on the tv and not pay as much attention to your child. Another point, even if your child isn't paying attention to the tv they hear it in the background and it can diminish their ability to learn how to fantasize and pretend play. Both of these points hit my husband pretty hard. From then until the present, the tv has been off when our daughter is up and around. Sure, for very special occasions such as President Obama's inauguration or the olympics, we had the tv on but 99% of the time it is off. Have the benefits been worth it? Oh my gosh yes!!! The creativity and pretend play she is involved in is amazing. She sits and plays with her puzzles, or takes out her books, or musical instruments. She plays with her dolls and stuffed animals, talks to them, takes care of them. In her crib in the morning and after nap she plays with all her animals and dolls. The other morning I walked in to get her at about 7:20 and she asked me to turn the light off and leave. So I did and she played and talked with her dolls for another 30 minutes. Developing this sense of play is so important and I have to think that having music on, or nothing on instead of the tv has given my daughter the opportunity to develop this part of her and I love watching it day in and day out. It amazes me what she does each day as she becomes more independent in her playing. Again, I am no expert but I do have strong beliefs on the amount of tv kids should be watching a day from when they are very little to school age. I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

Routines

Recently we have had people ask us, How is your baby so easy? Some say..."The next one won't be like this." Others say, "No one has an easy baby like this, this is not normal." First of all, what is normal? Second of all, I disagree with these statements. Why is our daughter so easy? and yes, our second child will be the same. Why? I truly believe it comes down to routines, routines, routines, consistency, consistency, consistency. Every family is different and they do what works for them but why wouldn't you have consistency in your child's life. Children need routines. When having routines they know what to expect. They don't like to have surprise all the time. It is too much for them to handle. Being an elementary school teacher for the last 14 years, I know that routines are essential. If elementary age students need routines, why wouldn't the babies and toddlers need it. I have had my days where I have changed the class routine and what happens? BLOW UPS! Kids freak out. Behavior changes, kids act out, they don't listen, and by the time the day is over you are exhausted. When you reflect on why...it is b/c the "routine" was changed. This is the same for babies and toddlers. Our daughter is ready for nap at 1pm and she is ready for bed at 7:30. We have no issues putting her to bed even when her cousins are visiting from out of town and they aren't going to bed. She knows...this is her routine and when bedtime hits, she is ready to go. Why is our daughter happy? One reason...routines and consistency.

bed time

Well, last Monday, the 29th I drove to Denver with the 2 year old to celebrate Passover with our extended family. I was trying to figure out the best way to go about the bedtime thing since her bedtime is at 7:30 and we are very strict about following this. There have been times where she may have been up closer to 8 but it is very rare. Like I said in my last post, we bring a pak and play if we know we will be staying at a friend's house well past her bed time. This night though...with the many people and the many young kids there I wouldn't have a prayer putting her to bed in a bedroom upstairs at the house we were at with her knowing there were many, many young kids running around. I figured since we were supposed to be there at 5:30 we had a chance on getting out by 8. I should have known, timing doesn't ever go the way you want. Everyone arrived at 5:30, we didn't sit down until after 6 to begin the seder and by the time the first course was served, matzoh ball soup, it was 7. I was cringing inside thinking this is going to be a late night. She has never had a late night like this before, what will it be like. I guess we will find out. A friend of mine and his wife actually left with his 2 year old just after 7:30 b/c that is his bed time. It reminds me of us usually, but my 2 year old sees this extended family once a year if we are lucky so I had to get over it. Well, by the time dinner was done it was just after 8 and then there is desert. Now my 2 year old helped me make the passover cake so she was looking forward to having it so I couldn't leave and deny her the cake. She had her cake and strawberries and by the time we left it was after 8:30. We weren't too far from the house we were sleeping at. She had been a rock start this entire time. She wasn't cranky or moody even though she was almost 2 hours past her bedtime. I expected her to crash out in the car but to my surprise she was on the lookout for "big trucks". By the time she was in her bed it was almost 9:30. Yes, she crashed out. I knew she wouldn't sleep in later than her normal time but I didn't expect her to wake up before 6. She did and played for over an hour until I got out of bed until 7. The day was fine...as we got closer to nap time she was exhausted and getting a bit cranky but she was a trooper as always.

Interestingly enough...I received an email newsletter from "The Sleep Lady" the author of the book, "Good Night, Sleep Tight" I would definitely recommend this book and signing up for the newsletter. It is free and great information. Anyways, her article talked about what happens when a child goes to bed too late...they tend to wake up earlier than normal. It all made sense to me now. That is why she woke up before 6 the morning after Passover.

Needless to say, the next night she was in her crib and lights out at 7:15, back to normal.